My mum finally convinced me to eat around 4pm today. She cooked Banga soup and I couldn’t resist. People that know me will consider this shocking as I’m always ready to eat. As my roommate, Juliet will say, I’m a consumer. Meanwhile, na she chop pass.
As I was saying before Juliet interrupted, I woke up in a foul mood this morning and nobody, not even my dad could get through to me. When I’m in a bad mood, I’ll be looking at you like:
My mood chased my appetite away and I’m sure my mum must have prayed before she came to convince me to eat. Immediately I finished the hot eba, something changed inside of me.
I’ll tell you. Chill.
Lately, I’ve been comparing myself to others and feeling sorry for myself. It’s like I didn’t take my own lessons from my last post. SMH. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the fact that I think that I’m getting old. Okay scratch that. It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I’m getting old!! Just look at this old woman:
I mean, 20?! It’s scary, I won’t lie. I feel like there’s so much I could have accomplished between ages 13-19 and it looks like I’ve wasted so much time. Most times, I look at myself and I’m like “Ruona, what are you even doing?”, “Ruona, are you seeing your mates at all? “, “Ruona, you’re older than that girl o” and I just get confused, angry and sad. I find myself wanting to hide away.
I’ve read a lot of articles and listened to a lot of people who have said that everyone moves at his or her own pace and I think I’ve become so relaxed, dwelling on that mentality that I’ve forgotten to challenge myself. I’ve just begun to let the days pass by, forgetting that time isn’t waiting for anyone, not even me, Princess Ruona. It’s been very hard for me to accept this but I know it’s the truth.
Today, I reflected on my life. My life has had its highs and lows, I’ve cried a great number of times but it has been almost two decades of beauty because I’ve also laughed harder than most. I don’t regret where I am today, regardless of the challenges because I know that God is just starting with me.
So I decided that instead of thinking about what could have been, I should focus on what would be. I’m just so scared and excited at the same time for chapter 20 but I know I’m ready.
Well, thank you for coming to my Ted talk. We should do this more often. In case you’re wondering, my birthday is on the 18th of March. Don’t worry, I’ll remind you. All these writing has made me hungry. I’m going to cook noodles.
P.S: Have you felt like me lately?
Are you hungry?
Do you want to know what I want for my birthday?
Feel free to use the comment box.