Back in the day, I used to be a relationship counselor. 😋 Why do I have this feeling that you’re laughing at me?
Hard as it is to believe, people actually brought their issues to me and we tackled them in the comment section on Facebook. That was until I was told to go and read my books because I should at least gain admission and get a degree before thinking about counseling people.
Let’s not forget that I was fresh out of secondary school with no relationship experience whatsoever except you’re willing to count my “boyfriend” who was in 100 level, whom I saw twice a year but that’s a story for another day.
Relationships involve a lot of effort. Let’s be honest with each other. I mean, it’s always good at the beginning, when you’re getting to know each other and you have enough love to give. I think this sweet phase is referred to as the “honeymoon phase”. It usually occurs in the first three months of a relationship. This period, you want to be around your partner, talking about nothing and everything. It can be cute and annoying. Smh.
After the honeymoon phase, there’s another phase that I can’t give a name right now but in this phase, you start getting to know your partner and you start having those little fights, noticing little faults and all that stuff. This is where you begin to know and accept your partner’s flaws. I think that once you survive this stage, there’s hope that you may be able to build a nice relationship.
I’m listening to Silence by Marshmello ft. Khalid right now.
Okay, back to business. It is known that at different points, your relationship tends to be difficult because people are different from each other and it takes one to understand one but there are a lot of mistakes people make in their relationships and I’m going to highlight a few.
Lack of communication: Relationships are about communicating with each other. That’s the only way you’ll be able to know what the other person is thinking. Nobody is a magician and you can’t expect issues to be resolved without communicating. People fail to do this and it kills relationships faster than one expects. Nobody is saying you have to talk all day, everyday but it is necessary to take time out to hear from each other. You also have to be open and honest with each other, while avoiding secrets.
General Relationship: I’m sorry, I couldn’t get another catch phrase for this point but when I explain, you’ll understand. These days, people are involved in relationships with themselves and the rest of the world. Most times, they involve social media and portray their relationships as perfect and will not allow the single people to be single in peace. 😑😑 Nobody said that you can’t show off your boo on social media but when you’re in the relationship for the approval of the rest of the world, something is wrong. Let me not get started on those people that will rather talk to their friends about their relationship issues instead of their partners. It’s just so sad. Mind you, this is different from getting advice. In summary, if you’re in a relationship and your activities center more on the opinions of people other than you and Bae, watch it because you tend to lose the purpose of the relationship that way.
Taking each other for granted: In Nigeria, this is referred to as “see finish”. 😑 Most times, it’s usually “I’ve gotten this person to fall, no need to put effort anymore”. Okay, how exactly do you expect the relationship to work when you feel like you have to reduce the amount of love and affection you started with?
Failure to balance each other out: Did you know that every relationship is give and take? Well it is and it’s that way because it involves two people. 😌 One person cannot be the one always giving or spending in a relationship. It involves two people. It cannot be one person always calling or making decisions. It involves two people!! A lot of people are guilty of not calling or checking on their partners because they just naturally expect them to call and this mentality of “It’s the guy that’s supposed to do the spending?” Why now? 😥 Eventually the person will get tired and things may begin to go downhill.
Forming what I don’t know in public: A lot of people don’t fancy Public Display of Affection (PDA) and its understandable because on a normal day, if I see you, I’d probably gag and say something annoying and won’t even apologize 😂😂 but there are some others!! Those ones only love themselves in private and if you see them outside, you won’t even know they’re together. If it’s something that has been agreed on previously, then it’s fine but if it’s a situation where you basically deny ur partner in public, it is plain wrong and just sad!! Are you ashamed of your partner? Why are you together??! I mean, do you know how embarrassing it can be when bae reaches for your hand when you’re strolling and you pull away? Do you know how painful it is? 😭😭😭
Finding Faults: I know of people that will just sit down and be like “me and bae have not quarreled today, let me look for trouble”. What is wrong with you? 🙄 We know that nobody is perfect and everyone tries to be their best. You can’t just decide to pick offense at every little thing your partner does because some things are meant to be overlooked and it is not right to go out of your way to find faults or get angry at every little thing. It’s just plain wrong.
Other mistakes include complaining a lot, lack of commitment, making disrespectful remarks, imposing your will on your partner, ignoring your partner’s opinions, pride, lack of support, among others.
I’m stopping here ‘cos I’m tired and I’m writing this by 12:17 AM. Plus if we were to discuss relationship issues, we won’t finish today. Anyways, these are some of the basic mistakes people tend to make in their relationships and I’m here to provide enlightenment. You’re welcome. 😘😘
Meanwhile, you don’t have to kill yourself for any relationship especially if the other party isn’t willing to try and if you don’t see a future with the person. Also, remember that Jesus loves you more than anybody ever would.
What’s your favorite love song?
Your favorite love quote nko?
Please can you provide solutions to some of these mistakes mentioned?
Do you want me to resume my counseling profession? 😂😂
Would you like to add anything else?