Posted in Random

Two Things I Despise.

Hello everyone! How are you doing? If you’re good then I’m good. The spirit of procrastination was about to descend on me but I declared that anything that will make me not publish today, God forbid.

I’ve been using this picture everywhere.

Permit me to show off my friend, Favour Didia. She’s beautiful and she’s my muse for this blog post because I don’t know how else to say thank you to her for coming through for me last week when I needed help. Thank you boo! I love you!!

Sometime last year, I was walking home and I happened to hear two very loud girls discussing. The one that was talking at that moment said something like “she no even fine better fine”. Apparently, they were gossiping about someone else and they were basically tearing the babe down. I continued walking but I couldn’t get that sentence out of my head and from that day till today, I’ve come across different people who have insulted other people’s appearances in one way or another, and like my friend said, it’s just their insecurities speaking.

I’m not even going to mince words. This happens a lot among women. How will a woman just sit comfortably in her space and start bad-mouthing or body shaming another woman without feeling anything? Or how will you just drop a degrading comment on someone’s appearance? Are you God? Honestly, it’s appalling and disgusting. I mean, what happened to women supporting women or whatever that stuff is called? Basically, it’s like there’s this competition between females. My question is why? Like, each of us are beautiful in our own way whether we like it or not and running other people down is just wrong and not sensible in my opinion.

If guys thought that they were going to be left out of this, they’re wrong. I happen to know some guys who take pride in joking about people’s appearances. I remember when a guy said that a girl looked like opera mini free mode. I clutched my chest because what is wrong with people? It was funny but imagine if the person was present and the person couldn’t take the joke, just imagine. What about those guys that slam other guy’s girlfriends? What’s there to gain?

It is one thing to point out to a person that his/ her appearance is not really appealing because you genuinely want to see the person look good and it is another thing entirely to point it out to make the person feel bad. Most of these degrading comments made about people are often done in their absence and it’s annoying because most of these people that make these comments will not be able to say it to the person’s face. So why say it at all? I think the most annoying has to be the comments people make about people they don’t even know. How will you just chill and call someone ugly? What is wrong with some people?

What about people that were born the way they are? I mean, there are people that genuinely do not like their appearances and it’s a struggle for them and you just saying things like “see how big your nose is” or “you’re really overweighted” and whatever does not really help matters. Do you think the person does not know? Instead of making them feel good, you trigger those insecurities and the annoying thing is that you do not know what they go through!! This is one of the causes of overthinking and depression. This is what makes people try to change their appearances and become suicidal.

Body shaming and bad-mouthing did not start today but I feel that we can do better and I cannot stress it enough. If you are someone that makes derogatory comments or jokes about people’s appearances, it’s time to stop. If you are someone that feels you’re in competition with everyone around you, I am here to remind you that nobody has your time. Each of us are beautiful in our own way and it’s time we started embracing that beauty and helping others embrace it too.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Let’s try to raise people up instead of bringing them down. If you’re reading this, I don’t expect that you’re anything less than 15 years old. It’s never too early or too late to drop a habit. You’re grown so act like it.

Avoid negativity.

Meanwhile,

How are you really? Who else is tired of staying at home?

What are your thoughts about body shaming and bad-mouthing?

Do you think there’s a perfect way to treat people like these? ‘Cos I ignore them most of the time but a lesson or two won’t hurt, right?

Please put your thoughts in the comment section so we can discuss it. You know how much I love hearing from you!

Author:

I'm Oseruona Asak, popularly known as 'Ruona. I've finally put myself out here to share my thoughts since I often need to share what goes on in my mind...

54 thoughts on “Two Things I Despise.

  1. I’m tired of staying at home , I need to do my project and enter stage 1 of adulthood, and did I tell you I went to see the loml yesterday?.

    As for the bad mouthers and people who comment on people’s appearances, if you don’t have anything nice to say or whatever your going to say isn’t a compliment, biko shut up

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kelvin calm down now 😪 don’t use the loyl to pepper me. As for our project, it is well with both of us 😂

      You couldn’t have said it better. If you do not have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.

      Like

  2. I have been a victim of derogatory comments from the male gender and truth is it hurts like hell. You have to grow a thick skin to dodge their bullets.

    For the ladies: The first thing that came to my head when I read about ladies bad-mouthing is “it is not by force to be a bad bitch”. Women think that by talking down on their fellow women, it somewhat places them on the top of their games and that’s sick. We are supposed to be each other’s powerhouse and strength. When Lady A badmouths Lady B, Lady A is just trying to project her insecurities on Lady B.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, personally, I feel that it’s “slightly allowed” for a guy to say how he feels about the body of an opposite sex, because he’s just saying what he’s attracted or not attracted to. But for a girl to body shame a fellow girl, I mean, that’s just wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If the guy doesn’t like her , maybe his friend likes her and doesn’t care how she looks , a negative comment can influence the guys decision to make a move knowing his guys don’t approve , male or female or shemale don’t body shame or intentionally say negative things about someone’s body😒

      Like

  4. beautiful post. In secondary school I used to be so insecure about my body because of “little jokes” people often made. somehow I just learnt that people will always be people and just grew tough skin.
    Asides that I AM TIRED OF HOME SIGH

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m tired of staying at home. I don’t miss anybody in school tho just my bed and gelato😍😍😍
    I just passed two guys talking about he a girl. He called her and she ignored and he just said “you no even happy say I wan manage that your k-leg”. Our eyes met once and he started laughing, I was like who is laughing with this one 🙄🙄🙄🙄. I think we all are victims but ignoring is shows your level of maturity and that of their insecurities and childishness.
    I think it is why ladies go for surgeries and all. Stay safe Ruona💙

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Staying at home without anywhere to go is really overwhelming. Brokeness con join on top,i was loosing my mind..But in a way I appreciated this period because I get to really understand and feel how life after school tends to be and the struggle of most unemployed Nigerians.However I landed a job yesterday and I’m so exicted. As for the body shamers it’s totally their insecurities about themselves speaking. If you you don’t have any good thing to say about someone just shut up! Nobody chooses how they should be born. If a person is your paddy,and you feel you should air your views,especially when you feel something about your friend can be worked on, please criticise constructively.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nice piece hanty.

      imo 90% of everybody that’ll read this is guilty of this charge. At one point or the other, consciously or subconsciously, we’ve all made body shaming comments or been in company of body shamers without defending the victim.
      It’s on all of us to do better and look beyond aesthetics when dealing with people. Thanks for the reminder.

      omo!!! House don taya me 😭

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I am not tired of staying at home o 😊
    And about what should be done to those people, lol I really just mind my business before they’ll bring out my insecurities too..

    Thanks for this though 💟💟

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am a victim of this body shaming thing. Lmaooo, I swear its because of the kind of person I am else I might have just lived my life in depression. I’m not even going to take this personal because I have been surviving it. You body shame me– you get bad mouthed. That’s my coping mechanism and sadly it doesn’t work for everybody. But dears let’s stop it regardless. Most of us in this comment section even do it unknowingly. Nice caps Ro! Didia thanks for being our muse

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Someone will be feeling your comments and nodding her head then she’ll see ”nice caps”. Why are you like this? 😂😂😂
      Anyways, you couldn’t be more right. 💜

      Like

  9. Opera Mini free mode? Jesu!!! 😁
    Body shaming is unnecessary and shouldn’t have a place in our society. Unfortunately, it will continue because not everyone thinks the same way. Anyway, here’s to hoping schools reopen in 2021: 🥂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The worst part about body shaming or bad mouthing is the fact that people who do this always cap it with ‘Is that why you’re vexing?’ ‘You take things too personally’
    Actually, yes, I will take it personally because I don’t understand how playing with someone’s insecurities can make you happy. It’s not like I don’t already know my physical flaws so why point them out to me, why make me feel like I wasn’t created by God or that I was created by Satan in his spare time.
    Body shaming only makes the victims depressed and see nothing good in themselves.
    Personally, I don’t keep friends who do this because if twice, I tell you that I don’t like the way you treat me or talk about me and twice, you say ‘You are taking it too seriously,’ then you have to go and you have to go fast.
    There is NOTHING woke about body shaming. It only makes people see everything but themselves as good.
    If you don’t have nice things to say to me, please don’t talk to me or better still, take a walk.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s everywhere. And society has trained us to think that there’s a particular way a person is supposed to look. I think that’s the problem. If you don’t have high cheekbones or you have k leg or you’re short people think it’s a feegate to talk about it over, under and behind you. I hate it here.
    I won’t say I’ve never thought someone was too short or really fat- but why say it to them to make them feel bad. Especially People with pimples. Those are the common targets. All in all, it’s something we need to unlearn. Making people feel bad for the way they look is so 2007.

    Btw I’m fine😂 and the loml is coming to see me soonnnnnn.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for this post. It’s not even surprising that most of the people that body shame are females. Talk about insecurity! There’s nothing wrong with been the way you are! People should just embrace self love and turn deaf ears to those silly comments about them. Nice post boss ❤️

    Like

  13. Hey… first time here I think.
    I totally agree that people need to stop the body shaming. People, especially Nigerians, also need to learn how to complement and highlights great features they see in people.
    When I was younger and my teeth started to grow out again, but my two front teeth seemed to be growing so differently. For the longest time o never liked it because of all the little comments people around me used to say about it. It was so bad I stopped doing something I loved so much: smile. I never smiled with my teeth again more, and don’t get me started with laughing, I would always cover my mouth because I thought my teeth were hideous. It was until I got to uni and people started telling me they I loved my teeth that I started getting comfortable with opening it. Rn I don’t care anymore I show my teeth anyhow I like because it’s my own so
    Thanks a lot for this post

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Nice write up baby gal👍🥰
    The truth is that no matter how ur appearance look,people will still want to say rubbish a about u
    I was once a victim,so what I did them was to shun them or shout at them cus I don’t take nonsense
    Am God’sown image and am created in his likeness 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m just loving your thoughts girl… You’ve said it all…
    Body shaming.. especially people like us who are not tall.. As if those tall ones talking to us can do anything with their heights.. Like look into the future or something.. Mtcheww

    And I’m so tired of staying at home.. This is the worst thing ever..

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Wonderful piece, It’s quite amazing how you came up with this interesting work initially I have friends that are quite unruly. But how do you gt them to stop?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I asked the same question too! I guess what we have to keep doing is ignoring them or standing up to them. Whatever works for us. Basically, its about not letting their words or actions get to us.
      Thanks for stopping by 💜

      Like

  17. Nice. Many are guilty of this. You made the point and I like the way you add flavour to your piece with the little ‘deviations’ here and there. It blends so well with the write up. More grace!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Body shaming is the new bullying tactic online, people who can’t even hold a candle to you will have the vilest things to say about you. I hope one-day people become more sensitive to other people’s feelings and struggles.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. One lame joke, one snide comment and you’ll soon begin to think there’s actually something wrong with you and before you no it, you’ll start seeing something that was never there in the first place. It’s just sad that we have to teach ‘grownups’ this things😩

    Liked by 1 person

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