Posted in Random

So You’ve Got Jokes?

Simi, thank you for this.

I love having discussions with people who get me and people who understand my points of view. I’m also totally fine with people who have different ideas about some of the issues that concern us, but one thing I’m never going to be fine with is people who never admit that they’re wrong or that they’ve crossed a line. I’m sure you can relate as these people are more common than we believe.

People handle jokes differently because the perception and interpretation of jokes by individuals differ. There are people that don’t mind being the subjects of jokes and there are others that will easily be offended. The fact that we are different people means that we should be able to accept that not everyone will see things our way and that’s why we need to know when to draw the line.

I posted a screenshot of an offensive tweet once. It was a joke and it was funny at the time but a reaction I got from my friend made me understand what I had done. The joke wasn’t even mine and all I did was screenshot and repost but I realized that if I was the subject of the joke, I’d be hurt too. It didn’t even matter if my friend could take the joke or not and it didn’t even matter that it wasn’t exactly directed at her. At that point, I already felt terrible. I kept apologizing and I took it down but I learned a huge lesson that day.

My friend once said “sometimes, we underestimate the power of jokes. It might seem harmless to you but might be harmful to the receiving end”. The honest truth is that just because you don’t intend to hurt or offend anyone with your jokes does not make it right when you do. It is not the intention, it is the effect these jokes have on people and so, we should watch it.

Some people will come with the ”you’re too serious” or ”you’re taking things personally” lines but if someone says he/she doesn’t appreciate a joke, you should take note and apologise instead of trying to justify your actions. We should also be careful with our words.

There’s a Big Difference Between Humor and Disrespect

Natalie Frank, Ph.D.

Natalie Frank in her blog post said ”do you really want to risk hurting someone if you can avoid it?”

Edeme, thank you for this.

The screenshot above is another angle I’d really love to address because if people do not know when to draw the line, you have to draw it for them. You don’t sit back and allow people to disrespect you in the name of ”I was joking”. There’s a limit to everything and there are boundaries.

I will never understand how people that are not close to a person make jokes that are insulting. I’m not saying I’m in support of close friends who make insulting jokes about each other but I guess it’s understandable because they are close and they’ll probably not take it seriously. But you see those ones that don’t know anything about you, coming from no angle of the triangle to throw shade and call it jokes, you have to stamp your foot and tell them as it is.

If you’ve read up to this point, I’d like to thank you for sticking with me. Here on Ruonaahsculture, I try as best as possible not to mince words and ensure that I address issues as they are. On that note, let’s be mindful of the kinds of jokes we make. Don’t just open your mouth waaaa and start spewing nonsense. I’ve advised you as best as I can so please, take heed.

I hope you’re good and I hope you’re in a safe place. Until next time loves,

’Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do people even make insulting jokes?

Have you been in a position where you had insulting jokes thrown at you? What was your reaction?

Do you believe in ’gbas gbos’?

Have you subscribed to this blog yet?

The comment section is available for you to share your thoughts on this issue. You know how much I love hearing from you. I’m gonna go now… Peace.

Author:

I'm Oseruona Asak, popularly known as 'Ruona. I've finally put myself out here to share my thoughts since I often need to share what goes on in my mind...

38 thoughts on “So You’ve Got Jokes?

  1. All dis wan no too concern me Sha (Nothing brothers me ), but still insulting people you don’t know for fun or whatever purpose make you a terrible person.

    If you’re reading this comment and you do this, biko stop it, you can do better.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omo… This thing happens a lot… And when I say I don’t like it, they say I act too mature and I no dey sabi joke(bla bla)…and me I don’t iranu… I value my respect… Don’t coman insult me and call it joke.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Some people take this joke thing too far and when the person they’re referring too says they don’t like it, they’ll take that person as too serious and when next they try to make the joke they stop at mid point and say ‘before you’ll get angry again’ which is actually annoying. Thank you for this blog post. People need to know when to stop their nonsense jokes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been in a position where someone threw insulting jokes at me, at first I laughed it off and when he did it the second time, I couldn’t resist the urge to change it for him and I immediately blocked him, this could sound extreme to some but I’m at the point in my life where I’m not taking bullshits anymore, this is someone who doesn’t even know shit about me and he thinks he can try to bodyshame me and end with “lol, just kidding”, a whole me, Omalicha 😂… Some people just love to feed on your insecurities and thank God I’ve been doing a lot of spiritual and emotional healing, so his words meant nothing to me, all I just had to do was to cut him off. A lot of people say “be the better person”, don’t block but guyyyy, what do you do to a weed growing in your farm? YOU PLUCK IT OUT !!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the thing. Sometimes, when you give people an inch, they take a mile. Just because you’re quiet doesn’t mean you’re a fool.
      It’s really good that you put him in his place. Some people really don’t know when to stop.
      Thank you jare, Omalicha. 😂💜

      Like

  5. Good one, Ruona. But are you suggesting that what amounts to “crossing the line” is that the subject of the supposed joke takes exception to it, irrespective of whether the joke isn’t in bad taste or disrespectful on the face of it? If that’s the case, it does make the task of “knowing when to draw the line” on every occasion, a herculean one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Uncle J, I think what is in bad or good taste is relative. If you don’t know me, you can hardly tell what I will take as a joke. If you know me then you should know what I consider as a joke. Point is: point is one man’s meat is another’s poison. For me, if you know me don’t go out of your way to hurt me.

      Like

  6. Sometimes people make these “jokes” just feel better about themselves which is really so sad. I used to laugh when some friends made jokes about my body, I used to be scared to say “no! Stop! I don’t like it” because I was scared they’d stop being friends with me, but now I’ve come to realize that real friends will never turn your insecurities to a joke. So now, I’m not afraid to say “stop! I don’t like it! Or Shut up, you think you are better”. I don’t care it you stop being my friend or not. Jesus is my friend.

    Thaink You❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactlyyyy!!! Put them in their place. Nothing gives anyone the right to make insulting jokes about another person’s appearance. It’s wrong and if the roles were reversed, they wouldn’t like it.

      Like

  7. This👏🙌
    A while ago, I had a friend who wouldn’t stop insulting me and saying it’s a joke. Initially I took offence but then it quickly turned to “can’t someone play with you? You are too serious ” so I let a lot of it slide until I had a conversation with someone who made me realise that it is not okay. Now I tell people straight. Don’t do that with me. And apologize properly if you say something offensive to someone and don’t hide under the cover of “I was just joking”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Not everything should be taken as a joke. There are boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. I think it’s different strokes for different folks. What may be like a joke to me, could be an insult to someone else. All the same, it all boils down to respect for one another. If I tell you that I don’t like it, then you should know it’s a line that you shouldn’t cross. Well written. Well-done

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Honestly, thank you for putting this out there
    I do not believe in gbas gbos lol
    I just think people need to understand that words are not just words and they carry a lot of meaning and people react differently.
    With friendships, you probably already know what’s not to joke about and it can be called out and properly handled depending on the parties involved. If you know the person is not your guy and you’re not sure the way the person would react please just put the “jokes” away, don’t joke about their outfit, accent, physical appearance, opinions, any of that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Preach, Chidinma. Words carry a lot of meaning and even the Bible said that we would be judged for every idle word.
      Not everyone buys the concept of ”it was a joke”. We should learn to be careful with words especially if we’re not ’guys’ with the other party.
      Thank you! 💜

      Like

  10. Awesome piece Ruona, it’s always a pleasure reading your work.

    I’d like to point something out, relating to my career as an entertainer, a comedian to be precise – Comedy has been so downplayed in this generation that an audience would be excited to sit in front on someone that, “body shames”, “sexually provokes/influences immorally”, all in the name of comedy or being funny. Some other “jokes” are about “rape”, “hard drugs”, “masturbation” and other social vices. I recall been in a conversation with a colleague and he said that’s what sells and what people want.
    So, in a generation where social vices are now the norm and sometimes, even celebrated, one can only do so little to stand out.

    In conclusion, guard your heart, integrity and dignity with fear and trembling.

    CrazyPeace✌️

    Liked by 1 person

  11. There is no need to insult someone just to be funny.
    Every joke came from a true thought. That’s why it’s so important to watch what people say when they are “joking”. Because A: it was a thought which came from somewhere; B: it allows someone who doesn’t realize the words are jokes to think the act/thought/feeling is safe.
    Even when people insult themselves, there is probably an inner mental health concern or trauma that they are trying to downplay.
    “Satire is meant to ridicule power. If you are laughing at people who are hurting, it’s not satire, it’s bullying.” – Terry Pratchett
    It’s a fine line we need to fight for.
    If Pratchett can write humor to that extent without hurting anyone, then so we the rest of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I really love this!
    One of the reasons why I don’t bother talking to a lot of people is because of this issue. Some may say I’m too strict or I don’t smile or I’m unapproachable….. and so on. I used to be everywhere, talk to anyone and everyone, but guess what? I became some sort of clown. Like people would just say annoying stuff and expect me to laugh about and when they see I’m not even smiling, they will start saying “small thing, you are vexing”.
    I was already swallowing too much rubbish, so, I made my circle of friends really small. And when I say circle, those are like my only friends, the rest are just ‘acquaintances or I just know your name”. Now , everyone around me knows the things I can tolerate and what I can’t. And no, I don’t like that gbas gbos idea, it emotionally drains people and leaves their mental health at stake.

    Like

  13. Nice piece. Everything you said is just the truth! And there are the schrodinger’s douchebags who deliberately say nasty and offensive things only to decide that they are joking when their comment is not met with a positive reaction🤦‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Beautiful piece as usual. As a Christian I don’t believe in gbas gbos but I can’t deny there’s a lil bit of satisfaction when the gbos is on point.

    Like

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