Posted in Personal

Familiarity Still Breeds Contempt

Give someone an inch and they take a mile? 

It still happens!!!

You’d think that as we grow older, people will begin to respect themselves around others but it’s obvious that the memo hasn’t gotten to everyone because if it has, then everyone and I mean EVERYONE should know that when it comes to people, there is a line that should not be crossed, no matter how close you are to them.

My family is very private. We’ve lived at our house for about 10 years and most of the people around us don’t even know our names. I’m very positive that some of them have written my brother and I off as rude people 😂 because we don’t have time for anyone but the truth of the matter is that we don’t have the energy for what people call ’see finish’.

In case you’re wondering what ’see finish’ is, it is a pidgin term that loosely translates to ‘to have seen it all’. It is a slang that is used to explain that someone has become too familiar with you to the extent that he/she begins to disrespect you. In other words, your ratings have dropped from maybe a 5 to a 2 or even 1 and a half.

’See finish’ easily describes the big grammar that’s my title (I should have just titled this blog post ’how to avoid see finish’ but the professoin me won’t allow it).

As I was saying, we don’t really talk to people around our area but I can be a very sociable person if I’m in the mood. ’Iya Kunle’ likes me because I’m always shouting ”Good morning Maaa” at the top of my lungs anytime I see her and then there’s Mr. John who never fails to greet me with a smile. There’s also this guy that works at the carwash close to my house whom I started talking to around last year. He’s the subject of the gist for today. 

I cannot remember exactly how we started talking but I know that a routine formed anytime I was going out or coming back. He always waved and said hi. Sometimes, I’d stop and we’d chat a little about random stuff (if you’ve noticed, I’m using past tense because all of that is history now) and it was cool because he seemed like a nice person.

One day out of the blues, Uncle asked for my phone number and I was like ”Why do you want my number? What will we talk about? I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s necessary”. In my mind, I was like ”When did we even reach that level? Because of ordinary hi and what did you buy for me?”

He didn’t stop there. He kept on bugging me and I kept declining. Eventually, he stopped asking. Our usual greetings continued until I noticed that he was beginning to get too comfortable. He started catcalling and shouting my name to get my attention while making improper jokes. I was already getting pissed but I didn’t say anything about it. I continued normally until the day he did something that turned out to be the last straw.

So I was going to get fuel one day and this guy started shouting my name. It was evening and people were around. I would have answered but I was already tired of his behavior so I ignored him. The next thing I heard was ”This girl ehn, na wa for you” and he legit threw the chewed cob of corn in his hand in my path to get my attention and I missed a step and nearly fell. I was so angry and under normal circumstances, I would have turned to give him a piece of my mind. I even heard someone say ”wetin the girl do you na? Una be friends?”

I gathered myself and silently walked away without giving him the attention he badly wanted. On my way back, he shouted ”The thing wey I throw touch you? Sorry o”. In my mind, I was like, ”I really thought this one had sense. He actually thinks that what he did was funny”. I was so annoyed and I kept thinking that if I hadn’t started responding to his greetings in the first place, this would not have happened. I’ve stopped now and I’m pretty sure that he has gotten the message.

The point I’m trying to put across is that I put myself in a position where I became too familiar with this person. Some people may consider what happened to me as a small thing that can be ignored but being the kind of person that I am, there are some things that I don’t just take lightly and I don’t think you should too because it could have been something more. I mean, this is how it starts!

People should know their place but at the same time, do not put yourself in a position where people will disrespect you. A lot of people you think have pride are not really proud. It’s just self-respect. The way you carry yourself around people determines how they begin to see you. If they become too comfortable and feel that they know all there is to be known about you, you begin to lose value and they tend not to see you as the big deal that you are. This is why they say “na see finish dey turn ’Good morning’ to ’How far’.”

So basically, this is me reminding you that familiarity still breeds contempt. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be friends with people or anything. What I’m saying is that there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Don’t allow people to disrespect you in the name of friendship. Don’t be too tolerant. Have standards! If your friends really care, they’ll respect you. Also, the moment you notice that some of your friends and family have begun to cross that line and they’re now bordering on being disrespectful, don’t hesitate to put them in their place or you can just put quality distance between yourselves because this is a zero-tolerance zone.

Love,

’Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

What’s Popping?

Have you been in a position where familiarity bred contempt?

I mean, have you been in a position where someone saw you finish?

How did you handle it?

What are you taking away from this blog post?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love hearing from you!

Author:

I'm Oseruona Asak, popularly known as 'Ruona. I've finally put myself out here to share my thoughts since I often need to share what goes on in my mind...

49 thoughts on “Familiarity Still Breeds Contempt

  1. Hey sunshine 🌞, your writeups keeps improving everyday and that is growth. Pray God see you through all the way love.
    I haven’t been in that “see finish ” situation coz I don’t give that chance. Many people both in Niger state and Delta, claims I am a proud person, which is fine by me tho coz I won’t give you a chance to disrespect me. I sabi cut people off sharp sharp. The way you portray yourself is how they will see you.
    Going back to work now.
    Take care of yourself and I love you 💖💖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amen!!

      I think I’m going to learn one or two things from you. It’s better not to give anyone the chance to disrespect you than to be walked all over. I totally agree with you.

      Thank you so much, Jessica. I love you too. 💜

      Like

  2. Most of us starts a relationship with
    “Good morning sir” and ends it with
    “My guy” den finally “Abobi”.
    I recall my one time crush used to call me sweet names but these days
    I bear names like
    “Aboki” “Chicken” even “Malu”
    😭😭😭😭😭
    See finish should be an offence in the constitution please.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The person in me would have carried that corn cob and thrown it back. Is he mad? See finish brings so many insult. I can so relate with this post. Keep the writings coming!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It took all the self-control I had to not react. When I even thought about it, I felt that my reactions may have even brought more disrespect.

      Right now, I don’t talk to him and I know that my change it attitude has passed across a message. He won’t be trying nonsense soon.

      Thank you for stopping by, I’m glad you liked it. 💜

      Like

  4. I accommodated a girl last year and I took her like a sister, but later on I noticed she started to cross the line. She didn’t have in mind that I am older than her anymore. So, I kept my distance and like you’ve stated, she and others have been saying I’m proud and form too much. But I really don’t care as long as I gain my respect back.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This particular situation can be very annoying. I’m glad that you’re putting her in her place ’cos this is exactly what I meant by ”when you give someone an inch, they take a mile”.

      Like

  5. Any day I feel you’ve started bringing that “see finish” attitude, I’ll legit tell you to avoid me or I’d simply act rude. That will chase you away. However I rarely reach that point with people coz they term me rude from afar coz I hardly talk to people around just like the writer.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I can’t recall any encounter I’ve had but me as a person, I don’t like rubbish. Once I notice all these unnecessary attitudes, I keep to myself. I don’t like keeping malice or all those childish attitude, so, I’d definitely still greet whoever but I’d avoid talking too much.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. 😂 😂 chewed cob of corn 😂
    Na wa o

    Immediately I notice any small scent of disrespect as far as you’re not mama and papa, guy I’ll shift before you even notice! Bc I’m a small person and I have very calm, naive and innocent face on so people seem to think they can easily cross lines.

    Again doooh 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I may not have known “see finish”, but I have dealt with it before. We call it putting boundaries up. And keeping to those boundaries you set. (White from NJ… different words, same situation)
    To be disrespected like that. You don’t deserve it. I’m glad you didn’t give in.
    You’re better off without some people in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. as I set like this, nobody can see me finish coz I don’t even have time for them in the first place. I don’t talk to anybody on my street because I find it unnecessary. what are we going to be talking about in the first? and some of our friends think they know us too well and what we’re capable of, so they can treat us anyhow. it’s actually really bad. this is why I keep to myself that even my closest friends can’t see me finish.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Excellent write-up, completely relatable. Omo, ah think se na only me no dey reason anybody for my area oh. It’s good to know that I’m not alone. 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Well,this is the first time I am reading a post on your blog.
    Your post is awesome and simple…
    There are so many things to say about “see finish”but,how do I start ooo?.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Omo I have plenty stories for this “see finish” thingy..😄😄especially the guy that handles the POS in my area..small small laugh in between o he is asking for number…like bruh😑😑😑 what will we talk about…anyways am moving to another POS stand to withdraw money..😄thank u..nice write up

    Liked by 1 person

  13. This is really important and very true.
    Imagine one like that asking me why I don’t come out to hang out on my street🤦🏾‍♂️ just because he was opportuned to talk with me in a barbing salon.
    I told him straight up that I’m not loose nor jobless.
    Such people tend to want to take advantage of your flexibility and taint your life with their messed up lifestyles. I’ve Mastered the act of ignoring with a straight face especially when moving on my street.

    Liked by 2 people

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