Posted in Random, Relationship

SINGLE SCRUTINY

Single Scrutiny | /ˈsɪŋɡ(ə)l/ /ˈskruːtɪni/ – An annoying critical observation and/or analysis of someone’s single status as if you’re being paid to drop comments or give advice on why the person is single. It’s not your business. Go away.

You’ve probably heard people make statements like “you’re too pretty to be single”, “a fine guy like you shouldn’t be alone”, and “you’ve secured the bag. What’s left is for you to secure a partner”.

You might have also heard this very nice question too – “You’re so beautiful/handsome/talented. How are you still single?”

When you hear people say stuff like these, they sound like compliments but in case you didn’t know, not every single person on the receiving end might see it that way.

I know you’ve made comments like this too. Don’t even lie.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these people don’t want to hear your pity comments? Have you ever sat back to think that they don’t want to be reminded that nobody is doing couple goals with them? Have you?

Have you even thought that maybe, just maybe being single is a choice for these people and they’re not as miserable as you think they are? Not everyone is in a relationship and I know that nobody ever died from being single.

Being in a relationship is awesome but some people make this whole “being single” thing such a big deal. That’s why you find that some of them jump from relationships to relationships because of pressure or because they’re scared to be alone. That’s not the point tho’. Let’s not deviate.

My issue is with the people who practice single scrutiny. The ones who feel that they should be allowed to play judge and jury over another person’s relationship status. Who sent you? I know the person is your friend and you care but if you keep quiet, nothing will happen to you. It’s because of you the “na single I single, I no kill person” sentence was coined. That’s how you pressured your friend to enter another bad relationship because you won’t keep quiet and you made it seem like being in a relationship is some sort of achievement.

You should be sorry.

Stop. Just stop scrutinizing people’s lives and relationships. Please allow single Pringles to breathe because there’s no crime or shame in being single. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. As a matter of fact, people can be single for the following reasons:

  • They’re chilling, just waiting for the right person to love and appreciate them.
  • They would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
  • They don’t like stress.
  • They can’t afford the kind of relationship they want right now.
  • They’re focused on their future.
  • They haven’t given in to peer pressure and they don’t need to impress anyone.
  • They really don’t send anybody.
  • They love their personal space.
  • Not everyone can do the “love thing” (or they don’t wanna try) LOL.
  • Being single is not a crime.

So you get?

To the single Pringles that have been heavily scrutinized, don’t mind them.

I can’t believe they told you that if you continue like this, you won’t find your husband/wife. They actually think they have a say. I laugh in toxic relationships. Don’t pay any attention to them. You’re doing great, honey. I know you want to cuddle too but in good time.

How do you deal with people who scrutinize your single status?

  • Honestly, deck them if you can.
  • Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
  • Be unapologetic.
  • Do not wallow in self pity.
  • Do not rush into anything. There’s nothing wrong with resting your heart till it’s ready to love again.
  • Ignore the judge and jury, focus on you and make you happy.

Wait, wait. Some singles also scrutinize their relationship status.

I’m not going to say much except YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE NOT DATING SOMEONE! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. Take time to breathe, appreciate yourself and work on yourself. Your desperation won’t get you that relationship you want, trust me.

Please, stop single scrutiny. A person’s relationship status doesn’t define him/her.

Dear singles, be unapologetic about everything. Your person is going to come and it’s going to be beautiful.

Okay, that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (drops mic).

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do you think some people always have stuff to say about people’s single status?

Have you been scrutinized before?

Do you scrutinize people’s relationship status? Dont lie.

Why do you think people stay single?

Why do you think single Pringles should not be bothered?

Please make your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Author:

I'm Oseruona Asak, popularly known as 'Ruona. I think it’s weird that I cannot describe myself perfectly but I’m passionate about those things that are close to my heart, including sharing my thoughts with you.

29 thoughts on “SINGLE SCRUTINY

  1. I have been heavily scrutinized tho, cuz my friends feel i can’t just be single, buh it’s just that Nigerians don’t like minding their business. Sending love to the Single Pringles, we are okay, we won’t die. Don’t give in to peer pressure cuz the end will not ne nice.
    (Drops mike)kprinnnnnn😹

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m in a relationship but there’s really nothing wrong with being Single, it’s beautiful, I preach it, especially when you’re in a bad relationship. I was very happy when I was single and it’s probably one of the reasons why I’m still happy in a relationship. It’s not a disease, people really need to put an end to the stigma. They be like “where do I go from here? Or I can’t start from the scratch”. If you’re reading this, you can definitely start again. You can only be happy in a relationship if you’re happy with yourself, so love yourself, be in a relationship with yourself, be unapologetically single.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Let’s not even talk about the pressure people go through to get married, and then marry in regrets. This is how it starts. Even our parents are guilty of single scrutiny when they feel it’s time for you to get married.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well said tho, well said. People make “singlehood” if that word excite, look like a disease or sickness. They are always like ahh, wow, why are you single. My reply is always it’s not against the constitution to be single.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was scrutinized a lot when I was single but it never really bothered me. I loved being single, it comes with a lot of peace and freedom. You can have these too in a good relationship but single people have it better.
    I think people stay single for a whole lot of reasons:
    – they just got out of a bad relationship and don’t want to get heart broken again
    – they love freedom
    – they’ve not seen “the right person”
    – they don’t like commitment, etc
    I don’t pity them at all 😂
    It’s actually a big flex 🎈

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Being single in Nigeria is not easy, it gets boring sometimes but I learnt that if you don’t find happiness alone, a relationship won’t make you happy either. And I’ve been asked questions like, why are you single”?, Or told you don’t look single”, I sometimes find it hilarious but honestly how should a single person loook? I’m enjoying this singlehood while it lasts though. I can’t even afford the relationship I want now, so till then… 🥂 To single Pringles like us, may we find love that’s worth the wait

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I do get alot of questions on why I’m single. Well, for single pringles like me, we are single by choice 😌. No pressure. We’ll mingle when we’re ready.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Well I don’t think anyone has said this to me. I am just shamelessly single. It’s just funny how when some boys ask, I tell them I’m in a relationship 😂😂😂(with Jesus) and they step back.

    I totally loveee eettt

    I believe love is beautiful but I’m not getting close to it soon. My focus now is God, self and money. Chikina!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Being single is great, it’s the only time you have to get to really know yourself and understand what you want, find your purpose and work on your dreams. If you don’t know yourself you can’t know or understand some else and being in a relationship comes which so much responsibilities that only mature minds can handle.

    Liked by 1 person

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