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THE DEPENDENCY SYNDROME

Hello!

I’m not about to make excuses for my absence because I was on a well-deserved holiday but I’m back because you missed me.

How have you been? (Please answer this question in the comment box ‘cos I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care). I’ve been okay except that I don’t understand why my money is running away from me. I’ve been receiving debit alerts that I didn’t bargain for. I mean, you breathe – you have to pay for something. You go outside – more debit alerts. It’s not even fun here. Sigh.

I’m not poor in Jesus name but send me money 🤲🏼.

I heard the “dependency syndrome” phrase a few weeks ago and it sounded nice in my head so I made a mental note to myself to publish a blog post on it. Low key, I’m hoping that this doesn’t disappoint ‘cos it’s one thing for a phrase to sound nice, but it’s another ball game entirely when you have to do research based on the phrase in order to curate an entire blog post that people will derive information from. Please read to the end so you can give me feedback.

The Dependency Syndrome refers to the idea that a person or group of people cannot solve its own problems without outside assistance. It is a flaw that has been made worse by charity.

The GIF above is just a child dragging after her mum but it’s an actual representation of what I just explained because the people who suffer from dependency syndrome cannot do anything on their own. Actually, the issue is not that they can’t. It’s that they don’t want to. They would rather depend on others for their survival and in some cases, drag them down in the process. It’s typical leech behavior.

There is nothing wrong with needing assistance from people because there are times when a person will need support and it’s okay. It only becomes a problem when a person becomes totally comfortable with receiving handouts from people without making any real effort to improve his/her circumstances. It becomes an issue of receive today, squander, and wait for the next gift to come without actually doing anything.

If we look around, we’ll find people like that in our society today. They don’t want to work. They’d rather fold their hands and beg from door to door instead of doing something about their situation. You’ll find such people in some extended families where some members are wealthier than the rest and have taken on the responsibility of providing for the others who are not so better off. For example, you give your brother/sister a capital of about 300,000 Naira to start a business so it can become a source of income to his/her family and he/she’s calling you a month later to ask for “assistance” because some “issues” came up and he/she has “no one else” to turn to. What’s it called? Dependency Syndrome.

Also, there are countries that are totally dependent on aid from other countries and will keep borrowing large sums from other countries and keep incurring debts instead of generating different forms of revenue.

If a country relies on aid, it’ll develop a dependency syndrome.

Hussein Mar Nyot

What do we say to people and countries like these?

And no, we’re not giving you any more aid because who came to this world with you? You want people to help you but you’re not helping yourself. Why? Why would you choose to solely depend on people for your survival when it’s not like you’re incapacitated? It’s wrong and it’s not a good look on you because the dependency syndrome is parasitic in nature.

The dependency syndrome in medical terms refers to addiction and in a way, it’s the same thing because the way addicts find it difficult to do without such drugs and alcohol, is the same way people cannot do without asking for help from other people. They become leeches and in a way, the dependency syndrome enslaves them in mediocrity.

Depend on Jesus alone.

Did I mention that the dependency syndrome does not only have to do with financial support? As a matter of fact, when you totally depend on people to make you happy or boost your self esteem, you suffer from dependency syndrome whether you like it or not.

Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.

Fritz Perls

Imagine what people will say about you as a person if you make dependency syndrome a lifestyle. There’s nothing wrong with depending on yourself and putting effort into improving your circumstances for a change. You don’t want people to get tired of helping you do you?

Well, hope you have an amazing weekend and Easter! 🥳

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

I’m really serious about this money thing. Where do you guys see this money? 😩

Was this blog post to your liking? What did you get out of it?

What do you think about the dependency syndrome? Do you know people that are solely dependent on others?

What do you do when you begin to notice that a person is solely dependent on you and is not making any effort to help himself/herself?

Admit it – You missed me.

Please drop your comments in the comment box below. There’s this joy that comes from reading and replying to them 💜.

Author:

I'm Oseruona Asak, popularly known as 'Ruona. I think it’s weird that I cannot describe myself perfectly but I’m passionate about those things that are close to my heart, including sharing my thoughts with you.

31 thoughts on “THE DEPENDENCY SYNDROME

  1. Dhurrr I didn’t even notice you were gone. 🤪 Nice post. You you should talk about the entitlement syndrome next. Would be interesting to read😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First comment? You definitely missed me.
      I published something on entitlement in 2019 but I think a revised version is due.
      Thank you for stopping by, Hiba 💜.

      Like

  2. Those type of people are really disgusting (sorry not sorry) but you can’t blame them 100% cos the person still supporting such people re also part of the issue( too much of everything is not good except prayer tho). I’m not saying you shouldn’t help people in need but don’t turn into their bank all in the name of help. Family relatives are like the perfect example for this problem, they suck you dry and still yet they expect more

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can feel the anger in this comment but I totally get you. Some members of the extended family are just leeches and all they want to do is take, take and take!
      Annoying stuff.

      Like

  3. Ruona, it’s like you read my mind oh, I really wish a certain person would read this and grasp it. I’m tired of her being so dependent on me, I’m legit avoiding her, I really don’t know how to go about it, I find it difficult to say no and I can’t tell her cuz it might sound rude. Help!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How we wan take run this matter now?
      The truth of the matter is that you have to stand up to her, put your foot down and say that enough is enough. You have to learn to say no – That’s the only way you’ll be able to cut off a leech. How long will you keep avoiding her? Are you scared, boo?

      Like

  4. I missed your broadcast msg, and yea I have been doing well aside the fact that Sapa is a bastard. You didn’t lie at all on this one though. Dependency syndrome is really a thing

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m fine, thanks for asking 😌.
    I think the dependency syndrome is mostly due to the sense of entitlement.
    Btw… I have a plug that buys kidneys, in case you need money urgently.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aliceeeee!!! E never reach like that nau! I still want to hold on to my kidneys for a while.
      This thing with entitlement – it’s really silly for people to think that they have rights to things that belong to other people. It’s annoying.
      I’m glad you’re fine. Your comments always make my day.

      Like

  6. Nice stuff Ruona
    All I’ll say is the cure to dependency is “cutting soap” lol
    Btw the audacity in that first GIF lol dfkm

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hiba’s boyfriend? Who are you dear?
      Anyway, there are people you’ll cut soap for that will still not use the soap wisely.
      Lmao I did what I did with the GIF 😂.

      Like

  7. First thing first, welcome back and second thing we’re all broke🌚, then the blog post, Wo! I know one or two people with the syndrome and to be honest it irritates me and I find it disgusting, i don’t know why tho but to an extent I’ll blame the parents or the guardians of the individual, and they can be so frustrating, you advice and talk and talk and talk and talk till you’re nearly going crazy, best thing to do is just stop helping out (don’t sha goan tell them you’re not helping them again sha bcos bad belle).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. God knows I’ll tell them that I’m not helping them because I can’t keep helping someone who won’t help himself/herself.
      I don’t believe that you’re broke but thank you for stopping by! 💜💜💜

      Like

  8. I have some people in my life that are really entitled. It’s a disgusting behavior if you can’t do most things on your own and when the person doesn’t help that one time, they start acting like what you did was very wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really annoying!!
      They forget that the person isn’t necessarily obligated to do anything for them. It’s a simple yes or no situation and they shouldn’t be angry when it’s not in their favour.

      Like

  9. You were missed, cos normally your posts motivates me to go and make a post, and I loved this title. Though:

    I was hoping that you’d speak on how to jump out of the syndrome or how to help a friend to leave the syndrome.

    But it is a nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!
      In my conclusion tho’, I said that people with dependency syndrome should put effort into improving their circumstances by themselves for a change instead of depending on others. That’s the ultimate solution.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I once lived with someone with dependency syndrome back in my 100L, it was very irritating and I still feel stupid for providing every single thing for this person, I’d half my money and food for this person while he does nothing but sleep and make a mess of my place, the only way to end this madness is to own your shit and man up to the person dependent on you because as long as you keep providing for them, they’ll never stop being dependent. And it’s nothing to feel guilty about, always put yourself first ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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