Posted in motivation, Personal

You Don’t Need Anyone’s Approval to Feel Better About Yourself.

I should probably tell you about this one time I dressed up. Like, really dressed up because of a guy. I remember doing my makeup and what was on my mind was how surprised he’d be to see me and how I would take his breath away. I was positive that he will not be looking at anyone else but me. I wanted to look mature and I wanted to be the centre of attraction so I allowed my friend to plaster heavy colours on my face in the name of makeup. (I should have a picture somewhere but I’m not about to embarrass the people I care about).

The endpoint of this story is that he invited another girl over who had lighter makeup on and she spent the whole day with him. I was just there, looking at them, feeling uncomfortable with my face, and totally annoyed.

Currently playing:

Sam Smith and Burnaboy actually made magic.

Where was I? Okay, there’s this confidence that makeup gives a person especially when it’s really good. Its art and art should be appreciated. But the issue here was that I didn’t wear makeup for myself on that day. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even appreciate myself at that point and all that mattered was this guy’s approval. When he didn’t even acknowledge it, my level of confidence automatically reduced. Lol. Just imagine going through the stress of sitting in one place for close to an hour and applying makeup for a boy and he doesn’t even appreciate it. Sigh. I was young and inexperienced, forgive me. I was expecting a compliment from him but he probably thought I was a joke. I can’t even blame him. I was painted like a clown. I didn’t even take his breath away…

You may have made or you’re still making the same mistake I made that time, doing stuff to impress people, to get their approval, or to fit in. Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with dressing to impress. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to boost your confidence level. The mistake you’d make is if you do them for the wrong reasons.

Whatever you do, ensure that you do it for yourself. People and their opinions matter but you matter more. Don’t lose your self worth because you’re trying to impress someone else.

Found this on Twitter.

The plain truth is that if you don’t appreciate yourself first, nobody will appreciate you. If you look down on yourself, people will look down on you. If you cannot find happiness within yourself, how do you expect to find it in other people?

You should ask yourself specific questions sometimes. Questions like “what exactly am I doing this for?”, “am I happy with this decision?”, “am I doing this for myself or for someone else?” “am I comfortable in my own skin?” And mind you, these questions aren’t limited to dressing alone because there are decisions we make on certain issues in life based on the need to get approval from people, some of them being people that we should not even bother about.

If I had just taken time to actually appreciate myself, I’m very sure I’d have gone out with my bare face and I would have had fun without having second thoughts. Also, if I had decided that I was beautiful with my makeup on, I wouldn’t have cared about his approval and I definitely would not have needed his compliments to make me feel good about myself. It’s history now and I know that I can’t make that same mistake again because I’m totally comfortable in my skin.

Insecurities come at times but I manage them by reminding myself that there’s no one like me. You can do the same too because you’re unique and you do not need anyone’s approval to feel better about yourself. Also, if you feel like there’s a change you have to make, a change that will benefit you, please go for it. Don’t discourage yourself with “what ifs”. As they say, the world will adjust.

We’re done with random thoughts for today. Thanks for stopping by.

Love,

Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

HAPPY NEW MONTH!! 💜🥳

I’ve been MIA and I’m sorry. My life outside the blog caught up with me.

How are you really? What have you been up to these past 2 weeks?

Have you had a similar experience to the one I just shared?

Do you agree with what I’ve said?

What part of this post got to you?

Please let me know in the comment box below. You know how much I love hearing from you. 💜💜💜

Posted in motivation, Personal

I know how you feel.

I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been there too. You don’t believe me? Okay, read.

You’ve probably seen that quote where Billie Eilish once said that she ruined a lot of good things by being sad and you probably felt it like I did. I know that most people know you to be this cheerful extrovert or maybe, just maybe you’re quiet and you always seem so put together but what if it’s just a front and you know it? What if you just know how to mask your feelings because you don’t want to rub off on people negatively?

You have your bad days, those days when all you want to do is shut everyone out because you feel miserable or sad for one reason or another. People around you never believe that you’re depressed because they feel that it’s just not possible or maybe they just feel like you’re seeking attention. What they don’t know is that depression affects even the best of us. How else do you explain going from very happy to extremely sad in the space of one hour? Or how do you explain that your mind is always constructing different scenes to make you miserable?

I know that sometimes, you don’t even understand what’s going on with you. I know that people come to you and they’re like ”a problem shared is a problem half solved” but what if you don’t know what the problem is? What if you just want people to let you be?

I totally understand what you’re going through and you’re not alone. If you’re hoping for a solution, I don’t have one but I can share some stuff to help you anytime you feel down.

  • Talk to God about how you’re feeling. If you’re a believer, you know how much this helps because the Holy Spirit is always there to listen to you and help you feel better.
  • Do something you love to do. It makes you feel better. Anytime I feel down, I write. My journal has felt my pain more than anyone. Sometimes, the motivation to do what you love may not be there and that’s fine.
  • Try to think happy thoughts. If you want to stop thinking about negative stuff, you have to counter it with positivity. I’m not about to pretend that it’s a piece of cake but the keyword is ’try’.
  • Sleep is a form of escape but it doesn’t solve anything. When you wake up, it’s like starting again. Sad.
  • It is a passing phase. You have to believe that it will pass and it will be sunny again.
  • If you have to cry, cry. Sometimes, if you’re overwhelmed, crying is an outlet. Honestly, it’s better than keeping so many emotions bottled in.
  • Self-harm or suicide will never be a solution. Anytime you feel depressed, remember that there’s so much good in the world and you can be part of it. Always remember that someone loves you too.
  • Do not stop trying. Things may not be so good right now but you have to believe that it’ll only get better.

You may doubt it right now but the truth of the matter is that you’re stronger than you think and you’re going to overcome whatever it is you’re going through. Your sunny days are near and you just have to will yourself to believe it and you’ll be fine.

I’m rooting for you.

Love,

’Ruona ❤️

P.S:

I couldn’t publish last week and I’m so sorry.

Can you relate?

What do you do when you find yourself in depressing situations? What’s your coping mechanism?

Please leave something positive in the comment section to encourage someone. You don’t know who might need it. I can’t wait to read them.