Posted in Relationship

Emotional Manipulation

Emotional Manipulation | \ i-ˈmō-shnəl \ \məˌnɪpjuˈleɪʃn\ – A situation whereby a person tries to influence another person’s behavior or attitude by using tactics that can easily be referred to as deceitful, sneaky and even abusive. Some forms of emotional manipulation include lack of accountability, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, self-justification, among others.

You know what? I don’t think I’m going to use big grammar to enlighten you today. You deserve details of everything that went down and I’m going to gist you. Just patiently follow this story.

This couple, Boo and Bae were the real couple goals. They had been together for a little over a year and everyone knew about them. Their pictures and triller videos often attracted comments of ”awww 😍🥺” and ”God when 😩😭”. With the number of followers they had amassed on Instagram, they were a power couple. Basically, they were good together on paper because Boo was a fine boy and Bae did not fall hands in beauty. God took his time in creating these ones. Do you see why they belonged together? Yes or yes?

As I said, they were couple goals and people wanted what they had. I mean, what else do you want when you have the best of everything and a fine boy/girl by your side? Nothing, dear. Everything looked good on the outside and if you didn’t look closely enough, you wouldn’t notice that their relationship was actually a farce. I mean they loved each other and they were happy but lmaooo 😂 I knew what was up because I’m smart (and I know things) plus who do you think Bae used to call when she was crying? That’s right. Me! 😂 Please, please, I am not a bad friend. I just want to enlighten you. I told Bae to leave Boo since but she used to ask me ”What will people say?” ”Don’t you want this to work out?” ”Are you sure there isn’t a reason you want us to break up? (haaa!) There was no reason oh. I was just giving her the best solution I could think of but before she’d say I was an enemy of progress, I stuck to saying ”sorry babe, you’ll be fine”. There was no way that the relationship would not end in tears but you don’t say that to a crying girl.

Things had been going smoothly for them until Bae started noticing a change in Boo. When we talked she said, ”I wouldn’t exactly say he changed because this is a part of his nature that came as a warning sign but I chose to ignore”. So Bae already knew something was up but she didn’t think it would be a problem. K. Bae told me that at first when Boo started making it seem like she was crazy for voicing her feelings and pointing out when she felt bad, she thought ”hey it’s true. I’m just whining and I can overlook this issue” but how exactly was she supposed to be okay with the fact that Boo was disrespecting her in many ways than one and dismissing her feelings as if they were nothing?

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It was confusing, especially on cases when Bae suspected Boo of cheating on her but he’d lie to her face even when there were traces of evidence. He’d prove that she was wrong and that he was right. Bae would begin to feel bad about even bringing up the issue in the first place. His mantra was always ”you don’t trust me” but someone’s intuition cannot be wrong on so many occasions, can it? Boo also began to criticize her and her decisions without encouraging her. He’d only show support when he knew he’d gain something from it (cue their many posts on Instagram that attracted brands).

I remember one time when Bae organized something for them to do together because she realized that they were slowly drifting apart. Boo didn’t show up. When Bae attempted to voice out the fact that he made her feel bad, he played the victim and decided to play the blame game. He said ”you know I’m always with my guys. You should have told me earlier so I’d have time to plan”. Bae came crying to me that she had told him about her plans two days before and he said he’d be there. She waited for him for close to three hours and the least he could have done was call or send a text that he wasn’t going to be available. Instead, he decided to go for a ”get together” with his guys. He justified himself and did not apologize that day. You can imagine how Bae felt.

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He continued to do things like this (and honestly, I wondered why Bae kept trying. I mean, it was obvious that he didn’t care). He never admitted that he was wrong but always said that Bae was being insensitive or crazy. When he made mistakes, he’d try to turn it on her and try to make it seem like it was her fault. To make matters worse, after talking to her, he’d still tell her that he loved her and he cared about her and my friend would decide to forgive everything. He never failed to give her gifts and as I said, everything was perfect but the truth is that Bae was not happy. Eventually, Boo began to expect Bae to put everything aside for his needs. With the gifts and his words, she began to feel like she was indebted to him. He was basically Lord in the relationship and it was very hard to say no to him.

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So, I’ve been giving you guys gist in the past tense since but allow me to shock you. They are still together!! Yes, I said it. She’s still suffering in silence and coming to cry to me. She doesn’t want to even think about the phrase ”break up”. That’s not a relationship. Oga is manipulating and abusing her emotionally and she knows it but she doesn’t want to admit it. Honestly, I mean well for them but if Boo doesn’t get help for his toxic nature, I don’t know how long they’d last for because this isn’t healthy for them. I’m still here anyway, telling her ”sorry babe, you’ll be fine”.

I’ll keep you guys updated.

Love,

’Ruona ❤️

P. S.

Special thanks to Sharon Oseghe and Kindness Onodua for helping me come up with this idea. 💜

If you’ve read up to this point, I really appreciate you.

Did you get what I did with my story? I pointed out signs of emotional manipulation.

I’d like to say that emotional manipulation works both ways and is not gender-specific. Emotional manipulation does not affect only romantic relationships but can also be present in friendships.

Also, this is pure fiction and this was not written in reference to anyone, living or dead.

So, what is emotional manipulation to you?

What do you think of Boo and Bae’s characters respectively?

How do you know if you’re manipulating someone emotionally or being manipulated?

What can you do to stop emotional manipulation?

Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below because I’d really love to see them.

Posted in Random, Relationship

You Don’t Rate Me 😏

You don’t rate me sha. If I should think about the amount of insult and disrespect you’ve brought to my name, I wouldn’t even be around you. I mean, what gives?
No, how do you expect me to feel? You toss me out of your mouth all the damned time and you’re not sincere about me. Do you think I’m like her? No babe, check well. I’m totally 1Cor. 13 and she’s the opposite! You know this so don’t you dare lie to me.

One would think that once you’d found me, you’d change and you’d eventually take me seriously but I’ve been wishing hopelessly because it’s obvious that you’re out to to shame me. I don’t even understand how you can paint her to look like me when it’s obvious that she’ll never be me. It’s like they’ve sworn for you. Yeah, they have. Those wicked village people of yours have decreed that you’ll never take me seriously, you’ll never appreciate me. Shame.

It’s no secret that you’ve used me for deceptive purposes, battered me with lies, caused me to lose my value in the eyes of people because of your unfaithfulness. They basically think I’m her now. There’s no difference anymore and it hurts. Why can’t you see me for me? Why can’t you present me the way I am? Why is it so difficult for you?

Just tell me what it is that you want. If you wanna be with me, be with me. If you’re choosing her, let me know but don’t confuse yourself or confuse people because I am done with this game.
Sincerely, if being with me is so hard, let me go but stop hurting people in my name because it isn’t fair and I can’t take it anymore.
So dear, choose. Yes, I said choose. Choose if you wanna be with LOVE or LUST ’cos I’m way more than all this and you’re gonna rate me.

Heeeeyyyy everyone!! Thank you for reading up to this point. In fact, thank you for sticking with Ruonaahsculture because guess what?! I am back like I never left!! Okay, I know I left but I had exams and if you’ve been keeping up with me, you’d find that I mentioned it in my previous post. Haven’t read it yet? Please click What’s Your Passion?

Meanwhile, just in case you didn’t totally get the raving and ranting above, I was trying to create a scene where someone was cheating on love with lust. You see, it’s common practice these days because people tend to clothe lust in love, totally disregarding the qualities of love itself and settling for lust instead. If you ask most people in relationships why they’re in love with their partners, you’d be amazed at the things you’d hear. I mean, how do you love someone because he or she has money or is fine or has dimples? Lol. What happened to the things inside that make up the person? Those ones are just ’jara’, really.
I know we’re learning every time and no relationship is perfect but it is what it is.

So, I was supposed to publish this on the 13th or 14th of this month but my exams that were originally supposed to end on the 14th started on the 17th and I had to give my best to school and I’m honestly glad it’s over. I actually woke up very early the day after I finished exams to read and then I realized that I was actually done 😂
I decided that I didn’t want to keep this in my draft unpublished especially since February is the month of love. You all know that there’s God in every move ’cos He gave me one more day to publish. Lol. Also, happy birthday to all the people I know that are born on the 29th of February!! It’s so cool that we get to celebrate you this year.

In other news, my mum’s birthday is tomorrow!!! Happy Birthday in advance, Mrs. Asak. I love you so much, mummy. God bless you and everything that concerns you. ❤️

Still on birthdays, mine is on the 18th of March (I’ll be back to remind you, don’t worry).
I actually have so much to say but I guess I’d stop here and give you the rest of the gist later. Hope you had an awesome February.

Love,

’Ruona ❤️

P.S:

”You don’t rate me” is a slang for ”no respect”, ”no value” or ”no regard”.

How was your valentines day?? Please I need gist 😩 I was reading for exams 😩

What are your thoughts on Love and Lust?

Could you please suggest movies for me to watch?

Please leave birthday wishes for my mum too 😊

I’d really appreciate it if you made use of the comment box below. You know how much I love feedback. Thank you!