Posted in Personal

Familiarity Still Breeds Contempt

Give someone an inch and they take a mile? 

It still happens!!!

You’d think that as we grow older, people will begin to respect themselves around others but it’s obvious that the memo hasn’t gotten to everyone because if it has, then everyone and I mean EVERYONE should know that when it comes to people, there is a line that should not be crossed, no matter how close you are to them.

My family is very private. We’ve lived at our house for about 10 years and most of the people around us don’t even know our names. I’m very positive that some of them have written my brother and I off as rude people 😂 because we don’t have time for anyone but the truth of the matter is that we don’t have the energy for what people call ’see finish’.

In case you’re wondering what ’see finish’ is, it is a pidgin term that loosely translates to ‘to have seen it all’. It is a slang that is used to explain that someone has become too familiar with you to the extent that he/she begins to disrespect you. In other words, your ratings have dropped from maybe a 5 to a 2 or even 1 and a half.

’See finish’ easily describes the big grammar that’s my title (I should have just titled this blog post ’how to avoid see finish’ but the professoin me won’t allow it).

As I was saying, we don’t really talk to people around our area but I can be a very sociable person if I’m in the mood. ’Iya Kunle’ likes me because I’m always shouting ”Good morning Maaa” at the top of my lungs anytime I see her and then there’s Mr. John who never fails to greet me with a smile. There’s also this guy that works at the carwash close to my house whom I started talking to around last year. He’s the subject of the gist for today. 

I cannot remember exactly how we started talking but I know that a routine formed anytime I was going out or coming back. He always waved and said hi. Sometimes, I’d stop and we’d chat a little about random stuff (if you’ve noticed, I’m using past tense because all of that is history now) and it was cool because he seemed like a nice person.

One day out of the blues, Uncle asked for my phone number and I was like ”Why do you want my number? What will we talk about? I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s necessary”. In my mind, I was like ”When did we even reach that level? Because of ordinary hi and what did you buy for me?”

He didn’t stop there. He kept on bugging me and I kept declining. Eventually, he stopped asking. Our usual greetings continued until I noticed that he was beginning to get too comfortable. He started catcalling and shouting my name to get my attention while making improper jokes. I was already getting pissed but I didn’t say anything about it. I continued normally until the day he did something that turned out to be the last straw.

So I was going to get fuel one day and this guy started shouting my name. It was evening and people were around. I would have answered but I was already tired of his behavior so I ignored him. The next thing I heard was ”This girl ehn, na wa for you” and he legit threw the chewed cob of corn in his hand in my path to get my attention and I missed a step and nearly fell. I was so angry and under normal circumstances, I would have turned to give him a piece of my mind. I even heard someone say ”wetin the girl do you na? Una be friends?”

I gathered myself and silently walked away without giving him the attention he badly wanted. On my way back, he shouted ”The thing wey I throw touch you? Sorry o”. In my mind, I was like, ”I really thought this one had sense. He actually thinks that what he did was funny”. I was so annoyed and I kept thinking that if I hadn’t started responding to his greetings in the first place, this would not have happened. I’ve stopped now and I’m pretty sure that he has gotten the message.

The point I’m trying to put across is that I put myself in a position where I became too familiar with this person. Some people may consider what happened to me as a small thing that can be ignored but being the kind of person that I am, there are some things that I don’t just take lightly and I don’t think you should too because it could have been something more. I mean, this is how it starts!

People should know their place but at the same time, do not put yourself in a position where people will disrespect you. A lot of people you think have pride are not really proud. It’s just self-respect. The way you carry yourself around people determines how they begin to see you. If they become too comfortable and feel that they know all there is to be known about you, you begin to lose value and they tend not to see you as the big deal that you are. This is why they say “na see finish dey turn ’Good morning’ to ’How far’.”

So basically, this is me reminding you that familiarity still breeds contempt. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be friends with people or anything. What I’m saying is that there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Don’t allow people to disrespect you in the name of friendship. Don’t be too tolerant. Have standards! If your friends really care, they’ll respect you. Also, the moment you notice that some of your friends and family have begun to cross that line and they’re now bordering on being disrespectful, don’t hesitate to put them in their place or you can just put quality distance between yourselves because this is a zero-tolerance zone.

Love,

’Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

What’s Popping?

Have you been in a position where familiarity bred contempt?

I mean, have you been in a position where someone saw you finish?

How did you handle it?

What are you taking away from this blog post?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love hearing from you!

Posted in Random

Impromptu interview? Let’s crush it.

Hey dear, it’s been a minute. I’m not beginning to have consistency issues I promise. It’s time management issues (which is probably way worse but I’m working on it).

Rant coming up in 3, 2, 1…

ADULTING IS HARD!!! Why didn’t anyone tell me? How do working parents make it look so easy? I mean, it’s one thing to start working and start earning but when it comes to finding time to doing other things, it’s an entire ball game!

My life right now is like that Rihanna song… ”work, work, work, work” then I don’t understand the rest.

Word Porn

You’re probably wondering why I’m talking about adult stuff. Let’s just say that these past few weeks have actually opened my eyes to the fact that I’m not really a child anymore, considering the fact that I had just about 3 months left till graduation before the pandemic struck.

Many of us have put school stuff aside and have found other things to occupy us or bring us income and some of us are already planning the next step after graduation. Some of us have already started writing our curriculum vitae. This brings us to my random thought that I feel I should share with you today.

What do you do when faced with an impromptu interview? We might as well discuss this – particularly for those of us leaving varsity into the labour market. Let’s say, you’re notified that there’s a job opening and you’re informed the night before the interview, what do you do?

1. PRAY: If you’re a believer, you should commit whatever interview you’re going for into the hands of God and ask Him to take control. Talking to God strengthens your faith, surrounds you with positive vibes, and casts out fear.

2. IF THERE’S RESEARCH TO BE DONE, DO IT: You might want to know about the company that’s considering you for the interview or the person you might work for and most importantly, the venue of your interview. You might also have to read concerning likely questions that you might have or be asked. Trust me, you don’t want to go blind into an interview.

3. DRESSING: The saying ”dress the way you want to be addressed” cannot be overemphasized. If you don’t put effort into your dressing and you’re not taken seriously, please don’t feel bad. What most people notice first about you is how you’re dressed. An interview is often a formal event so dress accordingly and even if it’s an informal event, please do not be underdressed.

4. CARRIAGE: If you carry yourself as a child, you’ll be treated like a child and there are no two ways about it. I’m not saying you should reek of overconfidence and ’I too know’ but there should be an aura about your carriage that will command respect from every part of the room.

5. HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW: Never arrive empty for an interview, impromptu or not. Always have a portfolio, your CV, or something that will show whoever that’s interviewing you that you have what he/she is looking for.

Now speaking from experience, I’d like to tell you that wherever you find yourself, interview or not, always be sure of yourself. Be sure of who you are and be sure of what you want. Try to fight off intimidation as best as possible and always stand your ground with confidence. Do not fidget and be audible. Even if you’re unsure of something, do not allow the other party to smell your nervousness. Always carry yourself as someone in high demand all the time.

Love,

’Ruona. ❤️

P.S: I’d like to say thank you for always encouraging me to keep writing. This blog got me my first real job last week and I’m not even sure I’ve recovered from the shock ’cos I wasn’t even expecting it. My interviewer (now boss) asked to see stuff that I had written and I gave him the link to this blog then I sat down patiently and waited for him to scrutinize my written work. A lot of things were going through my head because this was my first real interview. When he was done, he asked me to write something for him and I wrote this:

You know the rest of the story.

So thank you again ’cos without you, there’s no Ruonaahsculture.

Meanwhile, How have you been, really?

What have you been doing to keep yourself occupied during this period?

What other interview tips do you know? Advice someone today!

What do you think of my interview ’test’? Did I nail it?

You know it gives me so much joy when I see you in the comment section. Please, drop a comment and make me happy.