Posted in Random, Relationship

SINGLE SCRUTINY

Single Scrutiny | /ˈsɪŋɡ(ə)l/ /ˈskruːtɪni/ – An annoying critical observation and/or analysis of someone’s single status as if you’re being paid to drop comments or give advice on why the person is single. It’s not your business. Go away.

You’ve probably heard people make statements like “you’re too pretty to be single”, “a fine guy like you shouldn’t be alone”, and “you’ve secured the bag. What’s left is for you to secure a partner”.

You might have also heard this very nice question too – “You’re so beautiful/handsome/talented. How are you still single?”

When you hear people say stuff like these, they sound like compliments but in case you didn’t know, not every single person on the receiving end might see it that way.

I know you’ve made comments like this too. Don’t even lie.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these people don’t want to hear your pity comments? Have you ever sat back to think that they don’t want to be reminded that nobody is doing couple goals with them? Have you?

Have you even thought that maybe, just maybe being single is a choice for these people and they’re not as miserable as you think they are? Not everyone is in a relationship and I know that nobody ever died from being single.

Being in a relationship is awesome but some people make this whole “being single” thing such a big deal. That’s why you find that some of them jump from relationships to relationships because of pressure or because they’re scared to be alone. That’s not the point tho’. Let’s not deviate.

My issue is with the people who practice single scrutiny. The ones who feel that they should be allowed to play judge and jury over another person’s relationship status. Who sent you? I know the person is your friend and you care but if you keep quiet, nothing will happen to you. It’s because of you the “na single I single, I no kill person” sentence was coined. That’s how you pressured your friend to enter another bad relationship because you won’t keep quiet and you made it seem like being in a relationship is some sort of achievement.

You should be sorry.

Stop. Just stop scrutinizing people’s lives and relationships. Please allow single Pringles to breathe because there’s no crime or shame in being single. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. As a matter of fact, people can be single for the following reasons:

  • They’re chilling, just waiting for the right person to love and appreciate them.
  • They would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
  • They don’t like stress.
  • They can’t afford the kind of relationship they want right now.
  • They’re focused on their future.
  • They haven’t given in to peer pressure and they don’t need to impress anyone.
  • They really don’t send anybody.
  • They love their personal space.
  • Not everyone can do the “love thing” (or they don’t wanna try) LOL.
  • Being single is not a crime.

So you get?

To the single Pringles that have been heavily scrutinized, don’t mind them.

I can’t believe they told you that if you continue like this, you won’t find your husband/wife. They actually think they have a say. I laugh in toxic relationships. Don’t pay any attention to them. You’re doing great, honey. I know you want to cuddle too but in good time.

How do you deal with people who scrutinize your single status?

  • Honestly, deck them if you can.
  • Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
  • Be unapologetic.
  • Do not wallow in self pity.
  • Do not rush into anything. There’s nothing wrong with resting your heart till it’s ready to love again.
  • Ignore the judge and jury, focus on you and make you happy.

Wait, wait. Some singles also scrutinize their relationship status.

I’m not going to say much except YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE NOT DATING SOMEONE! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. Take time to breathe, appreciate yourself and work on yourself. Your desperation won’t get you that relationship you want, trust me.

Please, stop single scrutiny. A person’s relationship status doesn’t define him/her.

Dear singles, be unapologetic about everything. Your person is going to come and it’s going to be beautiful.

Okay, that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (drops mic).

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do you think some people always have stuff to say about people’s single status?

Have you been scrutinized before?

Do you scrutinize people’s relationship status? Dont lie.

Why do you think people stay single?

Why do you think single Pringles should not be bothered?

Please make your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in motivation, Random

Mistakes? Yes. Learning? Yes.

4:16 am: Currently listening to Promises by Maverick City Music.

Hi, I missed you. We’re in 2021, not much has changed but we give God the praise. Happy New Year.

As much as I started this year with hope, I didn’t start with much enthusiasm because I wish the year started under different circumstances but it is what it is.

How are you doing? Is this year treating you right? I’m alright if you’re asking. I came into this year with my sense of humor so that’s okay yeah? It seems like January will be a long one and I hope you’re prepared because how is today still the 8th? I mean, by this time last year, it was already my birthday!

Do you remember the guy who threw the cob of corn he was eating at me last year? If you didn’t read the gist or you’ve forgotten, you can read it right here. Well, he said he’s sorry. He didn’t even realize what he had done. He just wanted to know why I stopped talking to him. He had been trying to talk to me on numerous occasions since I got back home but I always ignored him. One day, he just shouted “it’s not fair o. What did I do?” so I stopped and reminded him and you should have seen the expression on his face. He apologized and kept asking for forgiveness for the next few days after that, using the famous “to err is human and to forgive is divine” line. He’s been forgiven but I don’t think I want the whole relationship to continue. It was annoying but I know people make mistakes and some of them deserve second chances.

Speaking of mistakes, is anyone really above making them? Who is that perfect? I know I’m not but I try, keyword being try. Most mistakes that people make are never intentional. I mean, it’s not like that girl plans to burn the pot of stew her mother asked her to warm because she’s engrossed in a series or she’s chatting with a man (Mummy, I’m sorry for all the food I burned. I was young and inexperienced 🤲) or it’s not like that person meant to lash out and say those horrible words to you (although, the person may have meant to because there’s nothing stopping people from being horrible these days). Let’s just leave the mistakes at surface level, shall we? I’m not putting an unwanted pregnancy as part of my list of mistakes because obviously, you knew what would happen when you were doing the do unprotected.

Anyways, the thing is that we have made and we will make mistakes, and even if we can’t do anything about our mother’s pots of food that we destroyed, we can make conscious decisions to pay attention in the kitchen so we don’t make the same mistakes again. The same goes for every other mistake, what effort are you making to make things right again?

Most times, it’s not even a person’s mistake that defines the individual. It’s what the person does after that does. In fact, why should your mistakes define you? If you fall, you get up again and keep moving. If you fail, you rise again and keep learning because in the end, mistakes might happen and you might not see them coming but it doesn’t have to define you.

Funny enough when I tweeted this, I didn’t know what I’d publish.

So like I said, mistakes are inevitable, and just in case they happen, it’s not the end of the world but if you can avoid them, please do in Jesus’ name. In case it’s too late, do not let it define you. Pick yourself up and move on.

5:08 am: Currently listening to Most Beautiful by Maverick City Music.

This year just started and nobody knows what the coming months will bring but this is just me reminding you that it’s okay to make mistakes. I might make some mistakes too but will I learn from them or let them define me? I have learned that life is a learning process so don’t stop trying because what is perfect really?

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

How has your year been so far? Any good news? Please share!

Who else thinks that this year is moving too slowly?

Have you made mistakes? Yes or yes? How did you deal with them?

Do you think I should still be friendly towards that guy?

Do you believe that there are people that are perfect or above mistakes?

Have you listened to Maverick City Music?

Please tell a friend about Ruonaahsculture and leave your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love hearing from you 💜.