How did we go from “all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” to “just give me money please”? I mean, it used to be easy for us. We didn’t need to ask. We always had Christmas clothes and shoes, there’d be rice and chicken, decorations, we’d also have music from Bonny M playing in the background but now… E be things.
These days, the excitement that comes with Christmas isn’t there anymore and I wonder if it’s only at my end. I’m grateful for the season and the reason for it but I still can’t help but feel that it’s because we’re slowly outgrowing Christmas. Can one outgrow Christmas? I can’t say for sure but it’s almost like the spark is no longer present. I mean, no decorations, no carols, no Christmas clothes and shoes. Who even said that you stop getting Christmas clothes and shoes when you’re done with secondary school? If you’re my age and you’re still getting Christmas presents, now would be a great time to share your secret.
I’m almost 22 and I still need Santa in my life. I’ve been a good girl this year (well, most of it) and I deserve gifts too. I cannot remember the last time I got gifts for Christmas and I do not think it’s fair at all. In fact, this is a state of emergency and I’m not even smiling. I have needs, dears, needs!!
Here’s my Christmas wishlist:
Put your Christmas wishlist in the comment section. Your Santa may just find you between now and tomorrow.
However, do not forget that Jesus is the reason for the season. I hope you have a really splendid holiday!
What are your plans for Christmas? I know I’ll be chilling at home all day. What about you?
What are your favourite childhood Christmas memories?
What do you want for Christmas? Anonymous Santas read this blog.
Please make use of the comment box. You know how much I love hearing from you! 💜
You guys!!! I’ve been saving this gist for a while and today is the day I finally spill. So, there’s this girl I know, she’d been hydrophobic all her life and she begun to overcome her fear of water last year. She has also never learned how to swim. I am that girl and that girl is me so what was I doing in a boat inside water?
Wait. I’ll tell you.
Sometime last month, I had to attend an event at Azebiri in Delta state. If you know this place, you know that you cannot get there on land. You have to get to Okwabe waterside to board a boat that will take you there and it’s at least a twenty minute trip if you’re using a speed boat.
The trip to Azebiri was nice. I had to struggle to get into the speed boat and I got mud all over my feet. Apparently, you have to have long legs to board a boat (short people problems, sigh). I was scared at first but I was with my friends and we were making videos. I remember a man saying “you said you’re scared and you’re still snapping”. I wasn’t bothered because I was wedged between two people and I was pretty comfy plus my parents were praying for me. It would be a smooth ride.
The water stretched around us, the breeze was warm and it was actually refreshing. At a point, the boat stopped because there was no balance. Some people at the back of the boat had to move to the front to balance the boat. I saw fishing traps and a fisherman or two (they were in a boat and they were scrutinizing the water so I just assumed that they were fishermen). I also saw some children bathing at the edge of the water. Some of these children were actually small but they seemed so at home. I mean, this was a large expanse of water and they were just swimming like it was normal. But I guess if the river is where your home is, you should be comfortable with swimming. We got to Azebiri in one piece and the event was successful.
Leaving Azebiri to Okwabe waterside is another story entirely. In fact, this is where the main gist lies. First and foremost, I’d like to say:
It started raining!!! It rained heavily and in a hurry to get home, my friends and I boarded a speedboat and sat patiently, waiting for the driver. Lo and behold, after waiting in the rain for some time, we were told that the driver wasn’t moving the boat. The only other option for transportation was this Nigerian version of Noah’s ark. I mean, the boat was huge!! We were reluctant to get in because a big boat meant more time on water and when it’s raining, the last thing you want to do is to be chilling on water. You’re not Jesus 😪. At least this boat had a roof.
Boarding this boat wasn’t easy. I already had difficulties with boarding a normal speed boat so you can imagine how hard this one must have been. It was still raining heavily and a lot of people were scurrying to this ‘Noah’s ark’ and I didn’t want to be left behind so I joined them. My friends (who were males of course) boarded the boat by climbing in from the side. It was a high jump and there was no way I was going to reach. I had to follow the other people to the ladder (yes, the boat had a ladder. I said it was huge). In the process of trying to climb the ladder, the boat began to move. In my mind I was like “Why was the boat moving?”, “Do these people want to leave me here?”, “I can’t spend the night in Azebiri. They don’t have MTN network here”, “My bag is already on the boat. My phone is inside”, and so on. It was later I understood that the boat was just being adjusted but because I was frantic, I tried to climb the boat from the side like the guys and I remember hearing a man say “wait, don’t do that you will fall”. Ladies and Gentlemen, my great fall into the water like Humpty Dumpty coincided with that man’s last word. Yes, I fell 😭, inside mud and water, in the heavy rain. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry because by the time I gathered myself, the boat had come to a halt and more people were boarding. I was one of the last people to board and the boat transported at least 50 people.
The journey back was annoying. It kept raining, and people kept moving to one side of the boat to avoid the rain. I was scared because I had realized that if the passengers did not balance the boat by staying on both sides, it could tip the boat. Some of the passengers had to be shouted at before they listened and balanced the boat. Mind you, it was still raining and some of the passengers didn’t want to sit down because the boat was wet. This posed a problem because the person steering the boat could not see since the people standing were obstructing his view. Those people had to be shouted at too before they eventually complied and sat down.
As the journey progressed, I was frightened and really cold (do not wear off-shoulder dresses for boat rides. Don’t say I didn’t warn you). I just wanted it to be over but it felt so long because the boat was so slow. We found out that this huge boat was three times slower than a normal speedboat. We made the first trip to Azebiri in 20 minutes. You can imagine how long we spent on our journey back to Okwabe waterside.
As I examined the little injury I sustained from my fall, I observed that some people in the boat were pretty chill. I mean, some people could still eat party jollof rice, gist and make jokes. At one point, the boat stopped in the middle of the water and my friend actually said that the men should come down and push the boat (Book of June is a clown 😂). Imagine pushing a boat inside the water 😂😂😂. I’m laughing now but I couldn’t laugh until the boat started moving again. All I could think about was the fact that I couldn’t swim. I was also shivering and a man offered me Gordon’s Dry Gin so I could keep warm but I declined before I drank alcohol and decided that it was a good idea to jump in the water and shout “I am a fish, I am a fish”.
In the end though, it was a whole new experience and I know I would have enjoyed it without the rain and the falling (I fell two more times that day). Will I be going on boat rides anytime soon? No, I don’t think so. My eyes have seen enough. My best part was coming down from the big boat though. My friend helped me down like a princess 😊. That’s the whole gist. I hope you enjoyed reading this ‘cos I enjoyed writing it.
Until next time loves,
Merry Christmas in advance!! I asked if you liked my Christmas banner the last time and nobody answered me 😒
How are you doing?
Book of June took these pictures.
Is a boat driver called a driver? I still haven’t figured it out. Help me?
Who will teach me how to swim?
Please make use of the comment box below. You know how much I love hearingfrom you. 💜