Posted in Random, Relationship

SINGLE SCRUTINY

Single Scrutiny | /ˈsɪŋɡ(ə)l/ /ˈskruːtɪni/ – An annoying critical observation and/or analysis of someone’s single status as if you’re being paid to drop comments or give advice on why the person is single. It’s not your business. Go away.

You’ve probably heard people make statements like “you’re too pretty to be single”, “a fine guy like you shouldn’t be alone”, and “you’ve secured the bag. What’s left is for you to secure a partner”.

You might have also heard this very nice question too – “You’re so beautiful/handsome/talented. How are you still single?”

When you hear people say stuff like these, they sound like compliments but in case you didn’t know, not every single person on the receiving end might see it that way.

I know you’ve made comments like this too. Don’t even lie.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these people don’t want to hear your pity comments? Have you ever sat back to think that they don’t want to be reminded that nobody is doing couple goals with them? Have you?

Have you even thought that maybe, just maybe being single is a choice for these people and they’re not as miserable as you think they are? Not everyone is in a relationship and I know that nobody ever died from being single.

Being in a relationship is awesome but some people make this whole “being single” thing such a big deal. That’s why you find that some of them jump from relationships to relationships because of pressure or because they’re scared to be alone. That’s not the point tho’. Let’s not deviate.

My issue is with the people who practice single scrutiny. The ones who feel that they should be allowed to play judge and jury over another person’s relationship status. Who sent you? I know the person is your friend and you care but if you keep quiet, nothing will happen to you. It’s because of you the “na single I single, I no kill person” sentence was coined. That’s how you pressured your friend to enter another bad relationship because you won’t keep quiet and you made it seem like being in a relationship is some sort of achievement.

You should be sorry.

Stop. Just stop scrutinizing people’s lives and relationships. Please allow single Pringles to breathe because there’s no crime or shame in being single. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. As a matter of fact, people can be single for the following reasons:

  • They’re chilling, just waiting for the right person to love and appreciate them.
  • They would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
  • They don’t like stress.
  • They can’t afford the kind of relationship they want right now.
  • They’re focused on their future.
  • They haven’t given in to peer pressure and they don’t need to impress anyone.
  • They really don’t send anybody.
  • They love their personal space.
  • Not everyone can do the “love thing” (or they don’t wanna try) LOL.
  • Being single is not a crime.

So you get?

To the single Pringles that have been heavily scrutinized, don’t mind them.

I can’t believe they told you that if you continue like this, you won’t find your husband/wife. They actually think they have a say. I laugh in toxic relationships. Don’t pay any attention to them. You’re doing great, honey. I know you want to cuddle too but in good time.

How do you deal with people who scrutinize your single status?

  • Honestly, deck them if you can.
  • Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
  • Be unapologetic.
  • Do not wallow in self pity.
  • Do not rush into anything. There’s nothing wrong with resting your heart till it’s ready to love again.
  • Ignore the judge and jury, focus on you and make you happy.

Wait, wait. Some singles also scrutinize their relationship status.

I’m not going to say much except YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE NOT DATING SOMEONE! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. Take time to breathe, appreciate yourself and work on yourself. Your desperation won’t get you that relationship you want, trust me.

Please, stop single scrutiny. A person’s relationship status doesn’t define him/her.

Dear singles, be unapologetic about everything. Your person is going to come and it’s going to be beautiful.

Okay, that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (drops mic).

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do you think some people always have stuff to say about people’s single status?

Have you been scrutinized before?

Do you scrutinize people’s relationship status? Dont lie.

Why do you think people stay single?

Why do you think single Pringles should not be bothered?

Please make your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in motivation, Random

You Cannot Please the World.

Not everybody will like you and that’s okay. It is fine because how many people do you want to impress really? Thinking about it, what’s there to gain especially if you have to pretend, make yourself uncomfortable and unhappy?

It’s very easy to say “Not everyone will like you” but sometimes, we forget that trying to please people or being concerned about what they think is part of being human. We care about what people think and we often want family, friends, and even strangers to like us. It’s how we’re wired. However, the honest reality is that not everyone will like the way you dress, how you think, and even you as a person. Sometimes, it’s because they don’t know you, and other times, it’s just because nothing you do will ever seem right in their eyes and as I said, it’s okay.

You might also like: You Don’t Need Anyone’s Approval to Feel Better About Yourself.

Have you observed that it can be exhausting when you have to think about what each person will like? You want to please A and at the same time, you’re worried about pleasing B and you put so much effort into what they would like. Sometimes, you don’t even realize that you’re doing it. There was a point in my life where I cared so much about people liking me. I never wanted to get on their bad sides even when I wasn’t happy with whatever situation I was in. I wanted to be everyone’s friend and being everyone’s friend is not easy at all. I mean, people always have opinions on how you should live your life and it’s stressful, trying to fit in with their ideas on how your life should be. I learned that you cannot please everyone so I started filtering whatever opinions people had to give and listening to myself instead. It took a while but when I was finally able to rise above what everyone thought, it became easier.

you cannot please everyone

At first, it would seem like you’re on your own but at least you’re original. Most people often have to sacrifice the true versions of themselves because they want to please a group of people. You’ll find that the version of themselves being presented to the outside world is fake because they often suppress a lot of their opinions and emotions because they want to fit in. In the end, a person may not show the stuff he/she is made of because he/she is too busy letting people decide who he/she gets to be.

Most people often have to sacrifice the true versions of themselves because they want to please a group of people.

Sometimes, we find out that we’ve outgrown certain circles and that’s fine too. This is because, in growth, we learn that some people don’t fit in with what we believe in or that with them, there’s no common goal. Some people realize this and leave such circles but others stay because they’re scared of what people will say. They don’t leave their comfort zone and most times, they don’t fulfil potential because they care about what people will say.

Sometimes, we find out that we’ve outgrown certain circles and that’s fine.

It’s heartbreaking when people don’t get to try something new or develop their ideas because they feel that people will not like it. Why don’t you take the risk and find other people who have the same mind as you and will resonate with whatever it is that’s going on in your head? Some people will say “when you’re in Rome, act like the Romans” but for how long? You’re not Roman.

Truth is that no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you will not be liked by everyone because there are people who won’t like you for no just reason and you’ll just be wasting precious time, trying to please them. I mean, you don’t even like everyone so why should you go through all the stress of trying to make the whole world happy? Just do you and make you happy okay?

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️.

How are you doing? Don’t air me please.

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt you had to please people?

What’s one thing about you that nobody will ever change?

Have you ever left a circle or group of friends because you realized that they were holding you back?

Please put your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜